A builder and a foreman walk into a bar...

Hee hee.

Hee hee ha ha ha ha.

HA! WHOA-HAHAHAHA!

HAAAAA! HAAAA! Ooooh my! HAHAHAHA!

This is hysterical. You're gonna love this. I can't catch my breath because I'm laughing so hard.

Our foreman? The one who is overseeing the clearing of our land and tearing down the shed and bringing in the waterline and the driveway? All of which needs to be done really soon so we can get started on the house? That one?

He quit.

HE QUIT!!!

(Seriously, in this economy, who quits a job?)

(Besides our Builder #1. And technically, he didn't quit. He just, you know, went bankrupt.)

If it weren't so funny, I would throw a record-setting hissy fit right about now. But instead, I'm just laughing.

It's so ridiculous.

Making my (black)list and checking it twice

I know this shouldn’t come as any surprise to anyone, but Target has had their Christmas decorations out for several weeks now, and Wal Mart is close behind. Our local light rock radio station normally starts playing 24 hours of Christmas music on November 1st, but this year they have mercifully decided to stream all the holiday music at their online station – at least for now. Gag me with a reindeer.

If you’ve been around me for the last couple of years, you know that the grand holiday season and I have not always been so simpatico. I do believe it was three years ago that the season had so overwhelmed and exhausted me that I purposefully dressed in head-to-toe black on Christmas Day, and all the decorations were packed away on December 26.

I learned my lesson that year, and we have taken very intentional steps to prevent a repeat performance. I make a detailed to-do list at the beginning of November and attempt to cross things off that list as soon as possible.

Let us not forget that this year, in addition to the holiday to-do list, we have the get-ready-to-sell-our-house list.

I am so determined not to wear black.

It’s gonna take some work.

Michael and I reviewed The Lists last week and decided that November would be the Month of Cleaning Out – so last weekend we tackled the boys’ closet (disaster) linen closet (couldn’t close the door without some serious shoulder) and the garage (could not walk through without risking a trip to Urgent Care). Check.

Next on The List was hiring someone to clean out the dryer vent. For the last, oh six months or so, the dryer was not doing its job.

Apparently, major appliances are not a friend of the Hunt family. At all.

We had it checked months ago, and the repairman said it was not the machine but the vent, but instead of simply calling someone to clean out the vent, we formed our own instant, short-term solution and disconnected the dryer from the wall, therefore bypassing the vent and letting all the hot, steamy air out into the utility room (along with an absurd amount of lint, which I have now learned is as much of a fire hazard as a clogged vent). We opened up the back door to (somewhat) direct the hot air to the garage while creating our own little homemade sauna. It worked for us. For six procrastinating months. Or so. I lost count.

But I’m almost certain that anyone wanting to buy a house would prefer a dryer vent that is, you know, functional.

So I went to my good friend, Google, and searched for someone who could skillfully and magically open up the gates and redirect all the hot air outside instead of into my utility room. I found this site on the list, and not knowing what else to do, clicked away. I filled out a short survey of what kind of job I needed done. I typed in my contact information. I clicked CONTINUE and read a message thanking me for using their website and assuring me I would be contacted by a qualified contractor.

I kid you not, my phone started ringing within two minutes.

It was kinda cool.

I set up a time with Vent Cleaner Guy to come the next week. Then I remembered that we have another little project on The List. We need a light in our under-the-stairs closet. I’m a little tired of having to use a flashlight to find my applesauce and juice boxes and paper plates.

So I went back to the Magic Website, filled out the survey, and waited for the phone to ring.

It did.

As I was talking to Electrician #1, my call-waiting beeped twice with other electricians vying for a job.

A girl could get used to this.

Dryer vent: check. Closet light: check.

Now to tackle The Christmas List.

Oh lordy.

We have a rough list of who we have to buy gifts for and what we’re planning to give them, and we have another list of honored friends and neighbors who will receive an assortment of baked goods.

I think that list is probably a little ambitious, but I was in a good mood when I made it, and I’m hoping that if I start baking next week, I might actually have enough for everyone.

(Don’t worry. The baked goods will be stored in the freezer, not growing mold on my kitchen counter. Actually, if they stayed on the kitchen counter, they wouldn’t have a chance in the frozen tundra of Australia to grow mold because my three little elves would devour them all, little by little, until they were all gone. And perhaps the big elves would too. Hence, the freezer.)

Last weekend, I went through all my holiday cookbooks and made a list of recipes and THEN made a grocery list of all the ingredients I will need.

Impressed? (Don’t be. It’s still in the form of a list.)

If I seem a tad Type A, it’s because I have to be. Otherwise, I will be breaking out the black turtleneck and pants in 7 ½ short weeks.

Paper celebration

Two and a half years.
The papers have been signed.
The funds have been wired.
We've officially bought our land.
(For the third time.)
(Don't ask. I still don't understand how that happened.)

And we have the money to start construction.

It's time to par-tay!
(Or at least go out to dinner.)

You can't celebrate without brownies and ice cream:

My favorite Griffin in the whole world.
He makes my heart warm.

Chillin' with the grillin':
Next stop: the soil analysis (whatever that is). Still taking one step at a time. But today was a huge, ginormous step. There was a time I didn't think we would see this day - but here we are!

Pardon the pun, but this rocks!

God is faithful, even when we are faithless, because He cannot deny Himself. (2 Tim 2:13)

It's a good day!

Gooooo with the Flooooow

Life sure is bumpy, isn’t it?

It seems like every time I turn around, I’m bumping into something. I wish I could say that I’m not literally bumping into something – but that would be a lie. I have many inexplicable bruises. It’s become a joke. “Where’d you get that one?” “I don’t know.” I bump into so many random walls and countertops and doorways that I don’t even notice anymore.

But the bigger story here is all of those metaphorical bumps that jump out in front of you and shout DETOUR!!! I hate those.

Like yesterday. I was volunteering for Griffin’s teacher – ‘cause that’s what I do – and instead of making copies or cutting out pumpkins or reading to kids, she needed me to take down the hallway displays. All of them. Some of which I had created for her just three weeks ago. Why? Oh, you’ll love this. The fire marshal had come through and declared the entire school a fire hazard – at least according to the newest fire code approved by the city. (Oh, how I love those city codes!)

Now I may be a little biased, but our elementary school totally rocks. I cannot say too many good and glowing things about this school. I love it. You walk through the front doors and immediately know this is a fun place for kids to learn. The teachers are phenomenal, the staff is amazing – even the library is a fully-stocked, joyous place to fall in love with books. I have never walked into the school and not seen a handful of parents buzzing around volunteering. The hallways are colorful and creative – I can’t even describe to you how awesome the hallways are – created in large part by my artist friend, Brenda.

For example:


But sadly, now the fire code tells us we have to Go Flat. Nothing can be three-dimensional. Flat. On the wall. Nothing hanging from the ceilings either. Apparently, such things could catch on fire and drop on a small child. (Though, as Griffin’s teacher noted, she’s not planning on staying in a burning building long enough for anything to drop on anyone.) And no more fabric bulletin boards. No more reading lofts. All in the name of fire safety.

So no one is happy about all the new rules, but what can we do? Rules are rules. This is the deck we’re dealt, so we just have to find a way to make it work. While I was pulling down puffy cornstalks and pumpkins, Brenda was already adding glitter to our newly Flat hallways. You do what you can. I’m not worried. Our parents and our teachers are incredibly creative. Brenda is awesome. We’ll make it work. You take what you have, and you move forward. You can be mad, and you can grumble and whine, but in the end, you’re still left holding the same deck of cards. So you make it work.

The day before, I had conferences with Meghan’s teachers about her progress for the first 9 weeks of school. Or, I should say, her standing-still-because-she-already-knows-it-all. She needs a little challenge, and while it’s frustrating that it’s taken nine weeks for her teachers to realize that, it’s where we are now. So we discussed projects she can do and challenges she can undertake to make her educational experience a little more enjoyable. I have a feeling it’s going to be an ongoing conversation throughout the year, and I’m going to have to dust off my advocate hat a little more often than I’ve had to in the past. Meghan is going to have to learn to put on her own advocate hat and respectfully speak up for herself and what she needs – and that’s hard to do when you’re 10. But that’s where we are, and this is what we have to work with.

In the meantime, Meghan is having a really hard time forgiving her 5th grade teachers, Mrs. M and Mrs. W, for not being Mrs. H, her 4th grade teacher. Mrs. H is one of those once-in-a-lifetime teachers. She is a great teacher, and Meghan doesn’t just love her, she looooooves her. Mrs. M and Mrs. W are not Mrs. H. Not even close. And they’re not bad teachers – they’re just different. And Meghan is angry with them for that. Every day I hear, “But Mrs. H did this…” and “In Mrs. H’s class…” She can’t get past it – to her own detriment. I’m trying to formulate some kind of wise saying about walking forward while looking behind you and not only missing the beautiful sunrise, but then running into a tree and getting a concussion.

So we’re talking a lot about moving on and making the best of what you have been given, even if it’s not what you would like to have in your hands.

Like our house. The closing date keeps getting pushed back, and I’m told this is the year of El Nino – which, for Texas, means wet. Very, very wet. Which isn’t good when you’re trying to pour a foundation. But there’s not a lot we can do – ok, nothing we can do – to control the weather, so we are resigned to wait. And wait. And that’s ok.

One more example, then I promise I’ll wrap this up. Meghan has been going to physical therapy for her back pain. Her orthopedist prescribed 2 times a week for 6 weeks. We found out earlier this week that our insurance company has only approved coverage for FIVE office visits. This is the hand we’ve been dealt. This is what we have to work with.

Actually, no.

That is just seven different kinds of WRONG, and I refuse to keep these cards in my infuriated hands. We could jump through a couple of hoops and submit an appeal and request coverage for additional treatment. Or we could kick the insurance company’s a** and pay for the treatment out-of-pocket (which is ironically less than the contracted insurance rate) and still submit our receipts for reimbursement through our HSA. I’d prefer not to give a stinkin’ red dime of payment to the insurance company because we’re not going to meet our obscenely high deductible by the end of the year anyway.

Evil, thy name is Humana.

So sometimes you have to work with what you’re given and make the best of it. And sometimes you fight back. I prefer the assess-and-adjust method that has become all too familiar, but I’m not opposed to standing up and refusing to back down. I guess you have to pick your battles according to which ones you can actually win.

And if all else fails, just add glitter.

Life (and lots) are so much nicer without dead plants

Isn't it interesting how we haven't had a drop of rain all year, then when we're actually ready to start building our house, we have 3 days of rain PER WEEK?!?

I thought that was interesting.

The land was supposed to be cleared like a month ago, but thanks to all those nice thunderstorms and flash flooding, it just got done last week. Which is fine. It's all fine.

Now we have a little better idea of what we're dealing with and how everything is going to sit.

Front/side of the lot. (The right edge of the house will be on the left.)

The backyard:

Looking from the backyard to the house:
(sorry, trees. I really am. I wish we could keep all of you.)

We were supposed to close on our construction loan today. Then Wednesday. Then Thursday. Now it could possibly be on Friday. I'm not holding my breath. (But I am breathing deeply.) It'll get done when it gets done. I'll be sure to let you know so we can all raise a glass of sparkly apple juice together.

(I may opt for something a little bit stronger. Shhhh.)

I think "snarky" is my new favorite word

Just for the record, in case anyone asks, I did NOT give my son a serving spoon to eat his Cheerios this morning because someone forgot to turn on the dishwasher last night and there were no clean spoons and it was way too much effort at 6:30 am for me to wash a spoon by hand even though we had plastic spoons in the pantry, which I did not remember until my brain finally awakened four hours later. And when he said, "Mooooom, this is a really big thpoon," I did NOT tell him to "make it work."

Just so you know.

Have a great weekend!

Another reason to love the cooler weather (that does not involve hairy legs)

So I'm sitting here warming my favorite spot on the sofa, super-soft yoga pants covering my unshaven legs, socks covering my chipped toenail polish, and I remembered something else I love about this time of year.

It's Chili Time.

I'm not much of a spicy food kind of gal. My dad measures good chili by how many napkins required to dry the sweat off your face. Not me. I like a good, warm, hearty dish - but not one that sets my mouth on fire.

By the way - here's a free piece of advice for all of you not accustomed to hot & spicy - if your mouth is all aflame, eat a piece of bread or drink a glass of milk. Drinking water will just make it worse.

You're welcome.

So the chili. When we lived in Iowa, I borrowed/stole/adapted the best non-spicy chili recipe EVER. Michael calls it "Sweet and Sassy."

Subtitled, in his best East Texas twang, "I lak mah chili lak I lak mah woman!"

I'm choosing to take that as a compliment.

This chili is one of the few dishes I serve that does not involve spaghetti or breakfast cereal. I'm 99.5% a Dream Dinners gal, which at this season of life, makes everyone happy - most of all, moi. Happy Wife=Happy Life. If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. You get the idea. If I can't pull it out of the freezer and have it on the table in 30 minutes, then it's Breakfast for Dinner.

Or chili.

I promise I'm getting to the recipe.

Here it is:

JENNIFER'S SWEET & SASSY CHILI
3 large cans of Bush's Baked Beans (3 different flavors)
1 lb. lean ground beef
1 lb. lean ground turkey
1/2 link of fully cooked smoked sausage, cut into 1 inch slices
1 can chopped tomatoes

Brown the meat. Add a little chopped onion if you're feeling frisky. Or dried onion flakes if you don't like chopping onion. Throw it all in a crock pot. Cook on low for 8ish hours.

Depending on the size of your crock pot, you can also add tomato sauce and/or black beans - or whatever sounds good. This is one of the recipes that is never the same twice. But it's never not yummy.

I sprinkle some cheese on top and serve it with cornbread. Supreme deliciousness.

Second only to cold cereal.